Alexis
Talking to “twin flames,” watching tarot readings, and coach videos on YouTube, I always come to the same realization: It’s always those who know the least that talk the most. When it comes to “twin flames,” we find yet another lucrative niche that spawns new “experts” in the field like mushrooms.
So, after hearing monumental nonsense about human psyche concepts, it’s time to set the record straight.
Your primary objective: twin flames or not.
Let’s go back to basics: whether you consider yourself a “twin flame” or not, frankly, no one really cares because your goal is the same as that of your neighbor, your school teacher, your parents, and so on:
To feel good and be happy in life.
Everyone is seeking the same thing through different paths. This is an undeniable, unbreakable, irrefutable truth, and if you say “no,” well, then you’re lying and probably need a therapist 🙊.
Whether you consider yourself a “twin flame” or not, here’s what you should do:
You should work on freeing yourself from the constraints of your mind to achieve real and lasting well-being.
Forget for 5 minutes the “I need to program myself for this and that” and think more in terms of “I should instead remove such and such programming from my mind” to access who I truly am and unleash my potential.
Everything is already there, just hidden by a bunch of programming that doesn’t serve your well-being.
If you don’t know how to free yourself from negative programming, check out the Sedona Method, buy the book on Amazon, and take the time to understand and practice the method. You’ll be surprised by the results.
But let’s get back to the point…
If you consider yourself a “twin flame,” there is indeed an additional dimension that will push you to work on yourself whether you like it or not. In fact, the intensity of the interaction, both positive and negative, will be such that sooner or later, you’ll work on yourself.😏 In fact, the power of uncertainty and confusion in this journey will lead you to want to know the “truth.”
And that’s where all the snake oil salesmen are waiting for you.
By snake oil salesman, I mean enthusiasts with good intentions, but who only repeat what they’ve read somewhere without really practicing (it’s the most common species nowadays).
Please, before giving guitar lessons, learn how to play first…
The problem is that in personal development, it’s so easy to regurgitate “nice concepts” to “look like we know” that anyone can open their YouTube channel and become an Instagram star with beautiful quotes.
In the 2000s, if you didn’t know how to program directly in a text file, you simply didn’t have a website and therefore didn’t have the “right to speak.”
In the days of common sense, to get results, you first needed a certain level of skills in the field in question.
Anyway, let’s get back to our little stupid concepts…
If you’re not reunited with your Twin Flame, it’s because…
I’ve heard this bullshit concept hundreds of times:
“If you, Chaser, haven’t reunited with your twin flame yet, it’s because you haven’t finished working on yourself.”
The danger of these kinds of phrases and quotes is that they contain a grain of truth. But by reducing a complex truth to beautiful concepts or a nice quote, we also lose the nuances and subtleties…
Indeed, there is an energetic interplay between Twin Flames. Each one influences the relationship energetically.
And I wrote “each one.” It’s not one-sided! Saying that the reunion hasn’t happened yet because the Chaser hasn’t done enough work is a bullshit concept, and you’ll see why.
However, it’s a pretty useful argument to bolster consultations. 😅😜
Now, it’s true that by the nature of this “twin flame” pairing, the Chaser generally starts their personal development work first because they’re the most eager to understand the relationship and unravel it because they want the “reunion.” (Which is not usually the case for the Runner).
When the Chaser is very close to completeness, this can trigger the Runner’s “Dark Night of the Soul,” which prompts them to do their own inner work if that’s the choice they make.
🌀 Four years after the creation of the blog: This is, of course, highly exaggerated because it’s not as clear-cut as that. Moreover, as explained in the articles on emotional dependency, the Runner has a tendency to compensate for their inner shortcomings through other relationships. Also, if the Chaser “leaves,” the void felt will quickly be filled through another person. This is often observed in the TF journey.
But here’s the point I’m trying to make…
Even when the Chaser reaches completeness, we don’t know when, or if, the Runner will return. It could take 3 weeks or 3 years AFTER the Chaser’s completeness, or never.
This period between the Chaser’s completeness and the Runner’s return depends solely on the Runner and the choices they make!
That’s why the term “The Runner holds the reunion” exists because it’s their choice to come back or not. They move at their own pace based on the decisions they make, their speed of integration, and their understanding of what’s happening to them.
And since, at the core, the Runner:
- Is a fan of turtles 🐢
- Likes to see nothing 🙈
- Likes not to decide 🙊
- Likes not to hear 🙉
You’ll understand that their “awakening” depends only on them and that it will take time.
- In Stage 1, the Chaser holds the cards to start their work.
- In Stage 2, the Runner holds the cards to start their work.
Each progresses at different rhythms.
Saying that the reunion depends on the Chaser is :
1. Guilting the Chaser excessively when they don’t hold the cards.
The Chaser is 100% responsible for their life, actions, and deeds.
When entering a relationship with their “twin flame” (or any other relationship for that matter), responsibilities are shared, and they hold 50% of the responsibility in that relationship, as they can only be responsible for 100% of their own part (thoughts, actions, and deeds).
2. Removing all responsibility from the Runner.
The Runner is also 100% responsible for their own life. When entering a relationship with their “twin flame,” they are thus 100% responsible for their part as well: what they think, say, and do, sharing 50% of the responsibility in the “twin flame” relationship.
3. Believing your Runner is your little puppet.
If everything depended on the Chaser, you wouldn’t be reading this article. Your Runner would obey your every whim, which clearly isn’t the case.
After all, it’s the Runner who typically flees for various reasons such as:
– Fear of feeling trapped
– Fear of loving and being loved
– Fear of suffering
– Fear of not measuring up to their Chaser
– Fear of others’ judgment
– Fear of being oneself
– Fondness for power games
– Not wanting this relationship for various reasons
– Addicted to manipulation and lies
– Fear of… In short, our Runner is loaded with fears. 🙃
And last time I checked, they didn’t consult you before ghosting you out of nowhere, coming back to close the door again, or telling you “I love you, but it’s not possible” and so on.
So, generally, it’s the Runner who cuts ties, blocks, slows down, flees, lies, and manipulates (to some extent and without bad intentions) to protect themselves from the Love they believe to be painful and/or from fully entering into a relationship they don’t want (as per Runner testimonies in sessions).
Clearly, you didn’t have much say in the matter, and they didn’t seek your consultation beforehand, am I wrong? They made their little decisions all by themselves, like a grown-up.
So, how is it the Chaser who decides there? Well, they don’t decide anything at all. If everything depended on the Chaser, you would already be in Union with your Runner from day one, and the case would be quickly closed!
The Runner, therefore, has their part to do, as they start from a very, very far emotional and psychological level…
Both Chaser and Runner have their share of inner work to do, and they may do this work at different times or not. (Because when it comes to working on one’s inner self, humans aren’t superheroes, I guarantee you!)
Will the Runner do their inner work, and how long will it take? It depends solely on them.
You must send love to your Runner.
This concept once again holds “a grain of truth.” The problem arises when you’re given heaps of BS advice solely aimed at achieving your reunion.
Why? Because they tell you what you want to hear. It’s the carrot that makes the donkey move.
You’re like a cocaine addict in withdrawal when you should be directed towards your completeness. Except, obviously, your completeness is far less appealing than the promise of a Union for two… Especially since reaching completeness will require daring to open drawers within you that don’t smell very good… (and you have no idea how much).
In other words, these super coaches and experts only perpetuate your lack and fear by advocating love for a Reunion. Once again, it’s their ignorance that leads them to do “stupid stuff” because they lack experience. Hence the:
“Please, learn to play the guitar before giving lessons.”
When you’re in the presence of what you consider to be “your twin,” you feel this immense Love/Attraction, this well-being, this return home, this completeness. It’s too indescribable to write, but if you’re a twin flame, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
In short, you’re one –> It’s The Paradise.
So, you get a glimpse of this paradise. But you can only experience this paradise in the presence of your twin flame and not alone (at least not initially). So, you need your Runner to experience Love.
You become dependent on “your twin” when they do everything to escape from you.
That’s where egos wake up and wreak havoc, hence the separation.
When egos begin to awaken in both twins, we have mini-separations, clashes, and so on, followed by reconnections and mini-separations until THE separation.
This internal tear comes from feeling complete with “your twin.” Now, in separation, you’re alone and incomplete because, like everyone else, you have your own negative, limiting programming, deficiencies, and needs within you.
This separation allows you to understand that you have work to do on your own (just like the Runner) to find completeness within yourself because that’s your original state.
So when they tell you to “send love to your Runner,” yes, it’s partly true because technically you can do it. If you feel like sending them love, go ahead! But do it with the sole purpose of feeling and sending love, not with a little mental strategy that goes like this:
“I’ll send them love like this, through energy transfer, I’ll influence their energy, and then my Runner will come back to me faster.”
This is mental/relational strategy and a form of manipulation. Ultimately, this is what these super coaches propose to you without realizing it when they tell you:
“Send love because it accelerates the reunion.”
The goal here is clear: send love TO get something (here, a reunion).
Send pure love if you feel like it, with the sole purpose of feeling and sending love, with the only aim of feeling and sending love. Oh yeah, I know, suddenly it’s less sexy, right? As soon as it’s not about doing X to get Y, suddenly… motivation dwindles.
So, you’ll understand the discourse of these pseudo-coaches who tell you to send love to accelerate your reunion.
But by doing so, they keep you in the illusion of:
“When I have this or that, then I’ll feel good.”
When what we really want is to feel good regardless of external acquisitions! And it also creates a conditional belief: Sending love = accelerating reunion.
🌀 Precision after 4 years of twin flame coaching : In reality, you can send love to your “other” every day if you want, but it won’t bring them back for this relationship you’re desperately waiting for because the Runner doesn’t want this couple relationship. As mentioned in other articles, the Runner wants 20% of the relationship, and you want 100%.
Twin Flame and Completeness
When you feel complete: you don’t care whether you’re with your Runner or not. You do your thing.
If they come back, it’s cool beans, and if they don’t, it’s still cool beans.
In both cases, you feel wonderfully fine. Do you get at what stage you should arrive alone? And it’s the same for the Runner, it’s the stage they should also reach. Well, that’s what we wish for them. Actually, it’s the original stage of every human being. This state of completeness was ours when we were little, and it’s what’s good to rediscover.
🌀 Precision 4 years after the creation of the blog: spiritual awakening is the progressive realization that we are governed by past conditioning and that it would be good to remove it in order to rediscover who we are: completeness, natural well-being.
And it’s precisely all these needs/deficiencies that you can release with the Sedona Method. If you haven’t already, read the article on the mind’s means of communication and the liberation technique as well.
- Since you’re lacking Love, you want to be with your Runner to have more Love.
- Since you’re lacking security, you want to be with your Runner to have more security.
- Since you’re lacking control in your life, you want to be with your Runner to have…
- Since you’re lacking unity, you seek to eliminate this separation to have unity.
I can go on like this for a long time! After +6000 private coaching sessions, you realize that we are all filled with deficiencies that we seek to fill from the outside, and the problem lies in the depth of these deficiencies.
In other words, these coaches make you focus on “sending love to obtain your reunion,” which will keep you in Lack, Need, and Waiting… and thus in dependency!
Unhealthy waiting because while you wait, you put your life on hold.
However, this relationship should be seen as a magnificent revealer of our inner programming to be released. If used as a means to heal, then we change our approach, and it allows us to become ONE with ourselves again. Each one, through this separation, can use it as a stepping stone to become ONE with themselves again.
Moreover, if you look closely at what I just described, these patterns of “lack and needs” are exactly what happens in regular relationships of Mr. and Mrs. Everyone.
Everyone seeks what they lack in the other to fulfill it.
You’ll also notice that often the Runner (painfully lacking in the needs mentioned above) finds themselves very often in toxic relationships where power games, lies, and manipulations are commonplace.
Indeed, the basis of these relationships is lack and need, which are derivatives of fear and are attributes of the ego/mind. A relationship based on fear rarely brings happiness.
To go further :
- You can find us on instagram here.
- You can book a session here.
- I invite you to read my introduction on the why of this blog
- Original on my French blog here.
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