When the chaser rejects the runner

When the chaser rejects the runner, we reach a key moment in the twin flame journey. This is what allows the chaser to truly start their inner work. Indeed, unknowingly, when the chaser rejects the runner, they actually make a very good decision, and I would even dare to say: the right decision.

However, it’s a decision that, when one hasn’t finished healing, is difficult to make. And it’s precisely this step that is interesting because when the chaser rejects the runner, they face a significant healing step even if they don’t necessarily see it that way.

At the beginning of the journey, the chaser will be under the spell of their own psyche, the runner’s pied piper, and the twin flame discourse. In other words, making the decision to reject the runner will be complicated, especially since the twin flame narrative explains that it’s precisely “the thing” not to do when in fact it is.

Yet, sooner or later, this essential step will have to be taken by the chaser since the relationship will have proven time and time again that it doesn’t work. The relationship is dysfunctional and toxic.

When the chaser rejects the runner: Ouch, that hurts!

Through the back-and-forth, lack of communication, manipulation, and indecision on the part of the runner, the chaser will eventually reach the point where they reject the runner, but it won’t happen without pain. Although rejecting the runner is exactly what needs to be done, the chaser will struggle to get there (for those who manage to).

At this stage of the journey, the chaser will feel guilt due to misplaced loyalty, trauma bonding, and cognitive dissonance. They will feel discomfort in rejecting the runner. Just the thought of it will cause a sense of loss, and they will be convinced that “it’s not the right thing to do.”

When in fact, it’s exactly what needs to be done.

The goal is not to reject the runner to seek revenge or to provoke a reaction, but simply because the relationship dynamics have repeatedly proven not to work, plain and simple.

When the chaser rejects the runner, they will face their true inner work. Indeed, rejecting the runner goes against their own mental programming (unconscious) that has identified the runner as THE right person. (See the article on trauma response for more information).

As a result, since in the chaser’s unconscious mind, the runner IS THE RIGHT PERSON, as they fit their beliefs and traumas, it becomes difficult to cut the cord.

On top of that, the chaser, having generally filled their brain with the entire twin flame narrative, with phrases like:

• “You shouldn’t cut the bond,” or
• “You shouldn’t try to cut the bond,” or
• “Even if you try, you won’t succeed because the bond is unbreakable”
• (I’ll refrain from laughing 🙊)

The chaser truly feels like they are “not doing the right thing” by rejecting the runner. However, rejecting the runner is the best decision the chaser could make, and I’ll explain why.

When the chaser rejects the runner: the key!

When we talk about healing wounds/traumas/coding/beliefs, one must understand one thing:

There’s what we consciously want and what the unconscious wants.

Just like a smoker who wants to quit smoking will feel inner resistance when trying to quit, almost every time we make a decision that goes against what the unconscious wants, we’ll feel inner resistance.

And inner resistance can take various forms.

Here, when the chaser rejects the runner, they will feel guilt mixed with a huge sense of loss and/or making the mistake of their life, with disloyalty and the feeling of betraying “their” other.

As always, relying on the intensity of their feelings, because the Chaser, as a “woke” soul “awakened to the bond,” is still as blind to their own inner mechanics. They will make a decision accordingly.

In other words, when the chaser rejects the runner, they will feel bad, and we’ll have two scenarios here.

1- Either the chaser rejects their runner, but as they will feel bad, they will then be vulnerable to any return from the runner. They will likely open the door to the runner, thinking that this time it’s the right one! After all, it’s only the 47th Jedi return 🤣.

But otherwise, as an awakened soul, maybe it’s time to wake up. 🙃🖖🏻

2 – Or, the chaser will firmly stick to their decision and will have a tough time.

Why Trusting Your Feelings Isn’t a Solution?

In personal development, we often hear “listen to your body” or “you have to listen to your body,” and it’s usually presented as a guide to follow, as if the body had its own intelligence and therefore, it would be good to follow its guidance.

However, when you start delving into your inner world, you realize that the sensations of your body are nothing but mechanical and automatic reactions of your egoic subconscious mind to external information.

In other words, it’s important to differentiate between:

• The sensations experienced on one hand, and the message that comes with them on the other.
• These are often two very different things.

Here’s an example:

As a man, it’s often up to us to approach women, because if we wait for the female gender to do it, we’ll quickly find ourselves in a situation akin to the twin flame journey, keeping the faith, being patient, as it’s a long journey 🤣.

When a man sees an attractive woman, he wants to talk to her, but immediately, his friend fear rears its head, and here’s what happens:

1 – Desire to go talk to her,
2 – Appearance of fear in all its splendor (physical, emotional, and mental sensations),
3 – A message is then delivered with these sensations.
4 – We believe in the message and don’t budge an inch.

And this is where it gets interesting because I did a little test just for fun.

In such cases, my scenario proposed by my mental ego, in a mechanical and automatic way in response to this stimulus (approaching an attractive woman) was as follows:

If I approach this woman, then she will reject me, and all the patrons of the café will mock me.

So, you immediately feel less inclined to go for it. 🤣

Except that when you do inner work and therefore awaken your consciousness, you then ask yourself a simple question:

Is it really true that it’s going to happen like that?

The only answer is: try it out, and then you’ll know.

There’s often a vast gap between belief and knowledge. One is purely theoretical, and the other comes from experimentation and thus from real-world reality.

In the twin flame journey, it’s theory on full blast based on 1001 convenient beliefs, and yet, as soon as you dip your toe into real-world reality, you discover many other things: notably the undisclosed truths of the journey.

So, if we go back to my example above, I decided to do a little test on 15 women. I used my emotional liberation techniques to free myself from the grip of fear and take action.

What was interesting was the result obtained:

In none of these 15 cases did the scenario announced by fear occur.

What’s interesting is that I encountered several different outcomes. You could say as many outcomes as there are personalities approached.

Yet, among the multitude of possible and conceivable scenarios, fear only sees one possible scenario.

What happens within you at that moment is as follows:

Intense Fear + delivered scenario = you believe it wholeheartedly.

While if it were:

Tiny Fear + same delivered scenario = you wouldn’t give a darn 🤓

And this second outcome is what we experience once the fear has shifted from Intense to tiny through emotional liberation. You couldn’t care less about the fear message, and you’re then able to follow your initial desire: approach the woman and take your chances.

When we’re under the sway of fear, we believe in something that is an illusion, a possibility that may be real, or maybe not. However, since it’s only in your head, not verified because not experienced in real-world reality, it’s just a thought, an illusion.

And it’s on the basis of this illusion that most people forge a part of their perception of reality…

You can imagine all the bullshit we firmly believe in the twin flame journey, without ever having experienced it, based on the same kind of mechanisms, spread by a bunch of people in the same situation, also subjected to the illusion of their egoic mind.

And this mechanism is:

I take the intensity of a feeling and the message that comes with it at face value. Or as I like to say:

The stronger a thought/emotion is, the more inclined we are to believe that the message that comes with it is true and/or will happen to us.

Why do we believe in fear?

One of the reasons why we strongly believe in fear is its highly logical structure based on the law of cause and effect:

If I approach this woman at the café,
Then she will reject me,
And all the café’s customers will mock me.

Its logical structure, based on the law of cause and effect, combined with intense feelings, leads us to DECIDE to believe that it is true and/or that it will happen to us.

But as long as we don’t take action, we remain stuck at the belief stage and therefore at the “non-experimentation” stage.

We believe we know, but we don’t really know.

In other words, we remain at the stage of mental illusion.

We turn a belief into knowledge, without even making the distinction anymore.

When the chaser rejects the runner or thinks about it, they will experience these negative emotions (like fear in the example above). The feelings are real because they are experienced.

However, they are simply mechanical and automatic reactions of the ego mind, as the decision to turn the page goes against the current programming of the ego mind.

In the case of approaching the woman on the street: approaching her means heading towards rejection according to the ego mind. The latter does not want you to experience rejection and therefore produces fear to protect you from this perceived painful situation. Fear will dissuade you from experiencing rejection and allow you, by not approaching, to remain in well-being.
Then,

In the case of the chaser rejecting the runner: Cutting the cord means heading in the opposite direction of what the ego mind wants: being in the presence of the person who completes you (completes your traumas). In other words, to avoid suffering by moving away from the other person, you endure the wrath of your ego mind to keep you on the “right path.”
Cutting the cord goes against this root belief of the chaser:

As I am, I am incomplete, and I need that famous person to feel complete.

When the chaser rejects the runner, they are actually choosing to go against this belief that makes them believe that as they are, they are “incomplete” or not enough. Since it is a core belief, the backlash will be intense.

The unconscious will do everything to keep the chaser “stuck to the bond” because for the unconscious mind, the runner profile is exactly the answer to its traumas/codes contained in the hard drive.

In short, the ego mind is just doing its job by sending you negative feelings because, from its perspective, you are making a mistake.

• From the perspective of mental programming: you’re making a mistake
• From the perspective of experimentation (healing): it’s probably one of the best decisions of your life LOL.

However, initially, the chaser will be under the influence of the negative feelings they experience when they want to chart their own course. They will then wander in the labyrinth of the twin flame for years when healing could be wrapped up in just a few months.

The dark night of the soul is exactly that.

The chaser is forced by the relational dynamic to not be able to be with the Runner, thus not able to “be completed” by the presence of the other. The code has been validated (honeymoon phase) then invalidated (back and forth and separation).

When invalidated >> The fall of the ego mind is terrible.

In the case where the chaser chooses to reject the runner, there will be a “similar fall of the mental ego” but this time, decided by the chaser. It’s a form of “suicide,” but I reassure you, it’s just a “suicide” of all the crappy lines of code that, besides ruining your life, don’t serve much else. 🤣

When some chasers decide to diligently engage in emotional release work and not just do it as tourists, they start to gradually uninstall the mental programming of their unconscious, making room for well-being to naturally emerge.

So once they arrive on the other side (healing), they have the “Before/After.” They then have the experience of both sides.

Having experienced both sides, they realize how completely delusional they were in the “Before.”

When you’re in the “before emotional release or before healing,” you think you want this relationship, but in fact, it’s your unconscious transferring “its desire” onto you.

But as long as we don’t do real consciousness awakening work, we have great difficulty seeing it.

We take for granted the thoughts and feelings we have within us, produced by the thinker (ego mind) as Eckhart Tolle would say in “The Power of Now.”

And this mechanic of:

Intense feeling + accompanying message = I believe it wholeheartedly

It also works with positive feelings. When you meet “your other,” you have a super powerful positive feeling, and for you, it’s a green light. You hear or feel within you “the other is your other,” so:

Intense positive feeling + the message (it’s your other) = You believe it wholeheartedly.

But in fact, when you practice emotional release, you remove the fog from your glasses and you can really appreciate reality and see if it really corresponds to what you want and not what your ego mind wants.

Let’s be clear:

In the twin flame journey, what drives this journey is the Ego Mind, or the desires of the unconscious.

As soon as you free yourself from the grip of your unconscious on you, you will no longer be interested in this story, this person, and this reunion.

And the more you lose interest in this story, the more you simultaneously regain your well-being, your energy, in short, your fire!

You attract what you vibrate.

When you are “before healing,” you are gripped by fear and lack.

• Without the other, we will die,
• Our life will be crap,
• They are the only person we resonate with,
• Etc…

At this stage, we may not challenge the belief of being twin flames for a long time. We will want to cling to the idea that twin flames exist, that we are twin flames, that the source wants us to have the reunion.

We’ll stuff ourselves with all that for a while, because we need it.

Consequently, this means that we vibrate at a certain frequency… so we attract situations, people, events, that correspond to what we vibrate.

In other words, we vibrate full-on unconditional emotional dependence and we will gravitate towards all the videos that match this vibrational state: videos that tell us what we want to hear to relieve these fears and lacks:

Twin flame videos, tarot, mediumship, and energetic/magical healing.

In other words, NOTHING that allows the chaser to break free from the control and grip that the ego mind has on them. And that’s perfectly normal, because we don’t even challenge this idea.

It doesn’t occur to anyone, because you’re told that what you’re experiencing is normal since it’s the result of a decision by the Source, the Karmic Contract, or your Soul.

You’re going through hell but don’t worry, it’s wanted by the source.

As a consequence, while we vibrate all of the above, we don’t have access to the techniques, tools, and methods that can allow us to detach ourselves from the control and grip that the ego mind has on us (paraphrase of Buddha) and thus to heal.

Just look at the content of the twin flame narrative to realize that we don’t talk about:

• The Power of Now,
• A Course in Miracles,
• EFT,
• EMDR,
• Cognitive behavioral therapy,
• Mindfulness,
• Etc…

Because all of this allows you to no longer be under the control of the ego mind by :

Doing the right things, for long enough, and regularly.

Interestingly, A Course in Miracles, a brick (1500 pages), has only one use: practical exercises to free you from the control and grip that the ego mind has on you. And you know what? The authors of the books claim to have channeled the information from a higher energy entity…

So, this is the kind of information we should have jumped on in the twin flame journey considering the staggering number of Mediums and tarot readers.

Well, darn it, nobody managed to channel the information that this book existed… Incredible, yet it’s been around since 1976. 🤣

• So you attract what you vibrate…
• So you channel what you vibrate…

In the twin flame journey, are we focused on everything but healing? 🙊🙈🙉

But just as a reminder, in the twin flame journey, we are sent by the Source on a Divine mission (nothing less) to raise the vibration of the earth and save the fate of the Universe!

To succeed in this enterprise, the Source took care to steer us away from any real method or tools that would allow us, to begin with… to heal oneself and raise one’s own vibration.

Oh, that naughty one!! She’s a player, she’s a player. 🤣🤣🤣

In fact, when we vibrate fear and lack, we are subject to the grip of our ego mind, so we are not on the frequency that allows us to find the tools to break free from this grip. And even if they were to pass right in front of your nose, you wouldn’t use them.

The reason is simple: being focused on “getting the reunion” is being in lack and fear, because we are feeling bad and we need the other to feel good.

This vibrational state means that as long as we want the reunion, we are subjected by our ego mind without even knowing it. Especially since in the twin flame journey, you’re told that what you’re experiencing is normal…

So, in this vibrational state, we cannot attract the right people, circumstances, and events that would lead us to break free from the grip that the ego mind has on us.

And that’s why, when the chaser gradually moves towards “I’m fed up with being fed up,” their vibration changes little by little and they are more and more ready to consider other directions, other points of view, and thus decide to change their perception.

So, the universe is well made, it responds mechanically and automatically to your vibration…

A vibration that depends only on you… 😃

To go further :

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• I invite you to read my introduction on the why of this blog
• Original on my French blog here.