Alexis
When browsing through certain blog comments, and particularly during coaching sessions dedicated to twin flames, it becomes evident that many people are deeply attached to the very notion of twin flames. But are twin flame real ?
In fact, one could even say they are convinced they are twin flame. And that’s precisely the problem.
In the pursuit of healing wounds or seeking calm and peace, this inner desire to be convinced of being a twin flame, to believe oneself to be a twin flame, worse yet, to be invested with a “divine mission,” is actually a clear obstacle to achieving completeness.
And that’s what we’re going to explore in this article.
Are twin flame real ?
One of the questions I often ask during coaching sessions is:
“On a scale of 0 to 10, how much do you believe you are a twin flame?”
Very often, the answer falls between 6 and 10. So, I follow up with another question:
“What evidence do you have to show me that you are indeed a twin flame?”
The responses to this question are always the same:
- I identify 100% with the description of twin flames,
- Premonitory dreams,
- Energetic phenomena,
- Telepathic communication,
- Kundalini rising,
- Overwhelming similarities in our life paths,
- The stages of our journey are exactly the same,
- My partner is the spitting image of the runner,
- I am the spitting image of the chaser,
- Etc…
Once the person finishes answering, I then ask another question:
“How does, what you’ve just told me, prove that you are a twin flame, a soul split in two, ordained by the source with a karmic contract, destined to meet again and again until the purification of past life karma?”
Here, besides a monumental silence, not much happens.
You see, in just three questions, the “twin flame narrative” has been beautifully “debunked.” Here, we are talking about evidence that tends to show that one is a twin flame. In fact, after a while, the person says:
- “I have no proof, but it seems obvious to me.”
- “I have no proof, but I really believe in it.”
And therein lies the crux of the matter: “I believe in it.”
As a reminder, since we are here on a divine mission with the goal of achieving wholeness and reunion to change the vibration of the earth, we then seek to heal wounds or seek calm and peace. This inner desire to be convinced of being a twin flame, to believe oneself to be a twin flame, even worse, to be invested with a “divine mission,” is actually a clear obstacle to achieving completeness.
And that’s what we’ll see in this article.
The Chaser, an effect and not a cause.
As I explained above, when the relationship is positive, the chaser experiences thoughts, feelings, and energetic phenomena that are automatically imposed on him. He decides nothing. He observes the “connection through eye contact, touch, and so on.”
He is then the effect of a cause.
The cause is the reaction of the chaser’s unconscious mind to the unconscious mind of the other person, and vice versa. This is followed by chain reactions of the unconscious mind, such as the production of feelings and thoughts like “the other is my other.”
This is true from the perspective of the unconscious mind since the other corresponds in terms of lines of code/beliefs to patterns experienced in the past.
But the important point here is to understand this:
When it “rises within us,” the chaser experiences what “comes to him.” He did not decide to produce these thoughts/feelings/phenomena.
He is then an effect of a cause (here internal, the unconscious mind).
But when the tide turns in the journey, and the dark night of the soul rears its head, the chaser is in the same situation. He merely observes what “rises within him” in terms of thoughts, feelings, and phenomena.
He is still an effect of a cause (here internal, the unconscious mind).
Leadership is the backbone of this journey.
The whole issue with the twin flame narrative is that it’s a fragile and disempowering discourse. It advocates for a lack of free will, using various means like “the source has decided that… my soul contract says that… the angels want that…”
This allows for a lack of accountability, nothing more, nothing less.
It’s super convenient because the real crux of the matter is precisely about opening one’s eyes. If in the positive, the chaser is an effect of an inner cause (decisions of the unconscious), and if in the negative it’s the same, the chaser is also an effect of the runner’s decisions.
Yes chaser, you’re chasing after your runner. You read that right, behind your runner. So it’s the runner who sets the pace and direction. It’s up to them whether you’ll hear from them, if they choose to give you news. It’s them who promise you the world, but nothing ever materializes.
It’s you who “decides” to wait, to keep the faith, to be patient, because it’s a long journey.
But it is actually the easiest choice. The one of “I don’t take my leadership in hand, because it’s just too scary for me.” So we’ll cling to:
- The source wanted it,
- My soul wants it,
- The angels said it,
- Because of karma…
In fact, we’ll hold onto all of this because the real crux of the matter is leadership in relation to our mental (unconscious) programming, the ones that practically “decide” everything.
I remember a documentary about Harvard neuroscientists saying something like:
“When an adult thinks they’re making a decision, in fact, in 95% of cases, they’re just acting on a decision already made by the unconscious.”
If you remember what I just said earlier, in the positive or the negative, the chaser is the effect of a decision-making cause of the unconscious.
We find the same thing with smokers:
- They feel the urge to smoke (a reaction produced by the unconscious).
- The smoker then thinks: I’m going to have a cigarette.
- The smoker smokes and feels relieved.
They’ve just acted on a decision already made by the unconscious. So they’re the puppet of the unconscious. At that moment, the smoker thinks they’re conscious, but not really. They’re only “semi-conscious.”
In the positive phase of the twin flame journey : when you’re convinced that the other is your other half and you let yourself be carried away by all that magic, you’re just living what the unconscious wants you to live. You don’t oppose it. Oh never, for once you’re experiencing something “amazing.”
In the negative phase of the twin flame journey : when you’re experiencing the unconditional love of the dark night of the soul or you’re crying all the tears of your body, so much you’re living love, you don’t oppose it, you endure. In the twin flame journey, they make you believe it’s normal.
There comes a time when this phase will annoy you and you’ll start to choose for yourself…
And that’s where it gets interesting…
When the chaser reaches this phase, which I call “being fed up with being fed up” on the French blog, they will then start making different choices. Real conscious choices.
Usually, it’s at this stage that I pick them up in coaching and we have a good laugh.
Well, I have a good laugh, they have a different story 🙃
In fact, once this desire to feel good kicks in and the person is tired of a more than chaotic journey leading nowhere, they increasingly become aware of the power of their unconscious will to go left when they now want to go right.
As long as we were being driven by the unconscious without really realizing it, we were being carried away by its desires. We then believed that it was the right path. It’s difficult to realize who was really in control.
Moreover, here’s a quote from Carl Gustav Jung:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
You can replace fate with “the source, the karmic contract” which are just expressions to convey the feeling of being “guided, pushed, magnetized, irresistibly attracted to the other,” which comes from the subconscious.
In fact, all this work of awakening consciousness is the crux of the matter when it comes to achieving completeness, not spiritual awakening, which, by bypassing the awakening of consciousness, is only an avoidance technique.
It allows people to remain unconscious while believing they are conscious.
Finally, when we start to dare to look at the desires of our unconscious, which wants to go left when we want to go right, we feel stuck, powerless, or as if something is stronger than us.
Buddha said 2600 years ago:
“The goal of meditation is to free ourselves from the control and influence that thoughts have on us.”
So, when we reach this stage, we realize the control and influence that the thoughts generated by the unconscious have on us. When we start to release, process, and heal them… they lose power and therefore control over us.
As a result?
We think less and less about the other, it’s less and less intense, and we feel better and better. The more we continue to do this work, the closer we get to completeness.
But for that, one must dare to look at the nature of these thoughts as well as their motivational sources.
And that’s precisely the problem…
In the Twin Flame narrative, we’ve managed, consciously or unconsciously, to avoid dealing with this part (consciousness awakening). With unconsciousness reigning supreme in this journey, it becomes evident that the real solutions cannot be proposed since they are not known and therefore not used.
Apart from tarot, mediumship, and energy healing, there isn’t much else to sink one’s teeth into.
On the other hand, psychology and neuroscience, fields that could help you understand a whole bunch of things about what you’re experiencing in your Twin Flame journey, are practically absent from the Twin Flame narrative.
Even better, with psychology, you could have concrete tools based on clinical studies that could really help you out. Like Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT),
But let’s not push the envelope too far, because by doing so, you might end up reaching completeness quickly, and since “to be spiritual, you must keep the faith, be patient, as it’s a long journey,” don’t get too excited, Maurice, take your time in suffering. 🤣
By the way, since we’re talking about spirituality, let’s look at the etymology of the word psychology and the definition of spirituality.
Just for your information:
Definition of spirituality :
Beliefs and practices concerning the life of the soul, spiritual life.
The character of what is spiritual, independent of matter.
Ethymology of Psychology :
It derives from two Greek terms:
Psyche : which means soul, mental, spirit, life.
Logos : which means study, discourse, or treatise.
Psychology can literally be understood as the study of the soul.
So, claiming to be spiritual without being interested in psychology, which is the study of the soul, is like claiming to be vegan while gorging on McNuggets…
No sense!
But in fact, there’s a reason for that.
Looking within oneself is not pleasant since we’ll see “mechanisms” that don’t favor us and, above all, that are there, within us.
In other words, we are responsible for them because they are within us. If they are within us, it’s us who have control over them, not the neighbor, not the source, not your father or mother, and certainly not Nemo, your goldfish.
Also, daring to look within oneself is ultimately a question of personal responsibility. This theme is extremely frightening to human beings, so what could be better than naturally using formulations like:
- It’s the Source who wants that…
- It’s the Source who decided that…
- It’s the Soul Contract, it’s written that…
Not being interested in psychology and therefore in the study of the mechanisms of the soul, the psyche, the mind, and the spirit is, in short, saying this, without really admitting it:
“I choose not to be interested in my own inner workings and therefore in who and what I am. I choose not to see the truth of my own psyche. I decide to stay at a certain level of consciousness and therefore at a certain level of unconsciousness.
Yet, 2000 years ago, the little bearded guy who turned water into wine said:
The truth will set you free.
So, how to free oneself without daring to look at one’s inner truth? That sounds complicated.
But it’s convenient because it allows me to play the victim of events, the source, god, the forces of evil, the lower astral entities, karma, and so on.
On the other hand, in order to avoid taking responsibility and not realize that I feed the role of victim, I’ll condition myself to so-called “spirituality” concepts, so that later I can stick the label of awakened soul when in fact, my eyes are still very much blind.
I’ll go around in circles for months, even years, but what can you do, that’s indeed the will of the Source.
Signed: A universal twin flame on a divine mission, whom you’ve probably never heard of, because you’re too busy altering the vibration of the earth by smoking crack, mushrooms, and ayahuasca on a full moon night heading south-southeast.
An obvious impediment to achieving completeness
So why is believing in being a Twin Flame an impediment to completeness?
The answer is quite simple. Believing that you are a Twin Flame is buying into a concept that your unconscious mind wants to believe, because the Twin Flame concept is like tracing paper over an existing drawing within oneself, which corresponds here to a belief:
As I am, I am incomplete and I will find this person who will complete me.
So as long as we have this line of code within us, we want to find this person, we want to believe that with this person we will be complete and we will feel amazing.
However, in order to continue wanting to find this person, we must continue to feel/believe incomplete.
But our problem (among others) is this feeling of incompleteness, produced by our unconscious mind.
When we release ourselves from this line of code, we feel more and more complete.
Consequently, the unconscious mind releases pressure and produces fewer and fewer thoughts about this “Twin Flame”.
We gradually stop thinking about the other person and then we notice a feeling of calm and peace settling within us.
And that’s why all the well-intentioned YouTube videos trying to explain the ins and outs of the Twin Flame journey have “reunion” as their ultimate goal.
This will excite your underlying belief mentioned above, which, by the way, no one explains how to overcome. But on the other hand, they will explain to you that you need to achieve completeness. Except that achieving completeness while still holding onto the “reunion” objective is choosing to keep the line of code:
I am incomplete as I am and that’s why I need this person to complete me.
It’s contradictory. So it’s impossible to achieve completeness as long as we think that a person or the runner is the key to our internal feeling of completeness.
It’s like trying to lose weight by eating fast food every day…
What creates this internal reality of incompleteness is the result of lines of code nurtured, fueled, and activated by the unconscious mind based on the past events. As long as we don’t decide to stop these lines of code, they control us. Referring to the earlier quote by Carl Gustav Jung.
So it’s an endless quest that you can never truly achieve because you will always keep within you:
I am incomplete and I need the Twin Flame to feel alive/complete.
Fully healing from the Twin Flame journey means reaching the stage where your unconscious mind no longer produces thoughts about this topic, whether positive or negative.
However, I assure you, you can still fall in love with a healthy partner and have a healthy long-term relationship dynamic.
To go further :
- You can find us on instagram here.
- You can book a session here.
- I invite you to read my introduction on the why of this blog
- Original Post on my French Blog here.
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